There is no denying it, having a baby changes your life. And your lifestyle. You might have expected this, but what you might not have expected is the feeling of loneliness creeping in, ironically at a time when you are so far from being alone.
A U.K study found that 52% of new mums felt both socially isolated and lonely. Social isolation not only feels awful, but can quickly lead to more serious concerns, like depression, difficulties bonding with your baby, and relationship issues. Social isolation is incredibly common among new mums, yet unfortunately so rarely spoken about.
With a new body, a new job title, and not a lot of sleep, many new mums are hesitant to reach out to create new social opportunities. we’re social beings, but we live in a culture that prizes independence’. A newborn’s feeding schedule is also a major deterrent, particularly as a new mum tries to get a grasp on breast or bottle feeding.
The key to beating social isolation, however, can come quite organically, beginning with a few easy steps. And as Christa says, ‘you may just need to think outside the box.’ The fact is, things you may have enjoyed pre-baby may no longer nourish you.
Join a like-minded mums group online
There are numerous mother’s groups out there. Some are community-run, whilst others are established by fellow new mums. Facebook and other online social platforms may be the perfect place to start. Many groups have pages set up to allow you to dip your toe in, feel if it is right for you. Many mums use these pages as a resource to ask questions or share experiences, and simply sharing and being heard may be all that is required in the early days.
Important things to look for in a group are common ground and one that suits your parenting philosophy and personality. If your parenting style is considerably different, but you gel well personally, consider catching up without bubba once the time feels right, of course after this virus outbreak. Every woman will mother differently. If you feel completely relaxed to be yourself in the group, you will come away feeling fully nourished.
Set up some structure in your week
Although structure with a newborn revolves around sleeping and feeding, once you feel comfortable leaving the house and once it’s already safe, try to set small goals for things you would like to do. These goals can simply be the groceries or grabbing a coffee at your local cafe. All of these things involve social interactions and will nourish a part of you without you even realising.
When all of this chaos is over, and when you feel you have found your daily flow (as much as possible), consider trying some weekly activities like a mums and bubs session at your local library or yoga/gym studio, or a swimming lesson. Weekly community playgroups can be found in most areas and are an excellent place to meet mums in your area. These activities provide a nourishing task followed by a feeling of accomplishment, which is often missed by the new mum.
By adding some flexible structure to your week, Sunday will come along and you will have activities in your schedule to look forward to.
Support, support, support
This is the most important time to create a support network of your nearest and dearest. Friends you were close to pre-baby who don’t have kids may assume you are too busy, so reach out to them for support, even just for an adult conversation over the phone or video call. Close family will often be unsure how they can help so give them small jobs to do, even if it is just picking up some groceries or bringing you a coffee, they will relish the opportunity to support you.
With styles to suit any body shape, Peachymama’s aim is to support you to feel confident in any social situation, while looking fabulous in your post-baby body.
