Supporting a loved one with depression can be a delicate balancing act. While your intentions may come from a place of care, knowing how to offer support without overwhelming or unintentionally causing harm is crucial. This guide provides practical advice on the do’s and don’ts of supporting someone with depression, helping you foster understanding and compassion while respecting their emotional space.
Do: Listen Without Judgement
One of the most important things you can do is listen – people experiencing depression often feel misunderstood or isolated, and being a compassionate listener can be incredibly comforting. Avoid interrupting or offering unsolicited advice;sometimes, your loved one simply needs to vent without fear of judgement or solutions. Listening actively means making them feel heard and validated.
Don’t: Minimise Their Feelings
It’s essential to avoid statements that may diminish their experience. Phrases like “It’s not that bad” or “Just think positive” can be dismissive and may make your loved one feel worse. Depression isn’t something a person can simply shake off, and minimising their feelings can invalidate the seriousness of their condition. Instead, acknowledge their pain and let them know that it’s okay to feel the way they do.
Do: Offer Practical Help
Depression can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming – offering practical assistance, like helping with housework, cooking meals, or running errands, can provide immense relief. Be specific in your offers, such as “I’m going to the grocery store, can I pick something up for you?”. This shows you’re thinking of their needs without putting pressure on them to ask for help.
Don’t: Take Their Responses Personally
Someone with depression may withdraw, seem irritable, or reject offers of help – it’s important not to take this personally. Depression can distort how a person perceives the world and interacts with others. If your loved one seems distant or unresponsive, it’s not a reflection of how they feel about you. Patience is key; continue to offer support without expecting anything in return.
Do: Encourage Professional Help
While emotional support from friends and family is invaluable, depression often requires professional treatment. Gently encouraging your loved one to seek help from a psychologist or therapist can be an important step in their recovery. If they seem hesitant, you might suggest online therapy options, which can feel less intimidating. Recommending an online psychologist can provide accessible support, offering them the chance to speak to a professional from the comfort of their own home.
Don’t: Push Them Too Hard
It’s natural to want your loved one to feel better quickly, but healing from depression takes time. Avoid pushing them to socialise or engage in activities they may not be ready for. Instead of insisting they join group outings or events, consider suggesting smaller, low-pressure activities like a quiet walk or a coffee together. The key is to encourage without overwhelming.
Do: Educate Yourself About Depression
Understanding the nature of depression will help you provide better support – learn about the symptoms, potential triggers, and the impact it can have on day-to-day life. The more you know, the more empathetic and informed your support will be. Consider seeking resources from reputable organisations or speaking to a professional to gain insights into how best to help.
Don’t: Offer Comparisons
Avoid comparing your loved one’s experience with your own or others. Statements like “I was sad too, but I got over it” or “So-and-so had it worse and they’re fine now” can trivialise their struggle. Depression is a unique and deeply personal experience, and drawing comparisons may make them feel misunderstood or judged.
Do: Look After Yourself
Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally taxing, so it’s important to take care of your own wellbeing. Setting boundaries, seeking support for yourself, and practising self-care will allow you to be there for your loved one without burning out. Remember, it’s okay to step back when needed – it doesn’t make you less supportive.
Don’t: Expect Immediate Change
Depression is a complex mental health condition, and recovery is rarely linear – there will be good days and bad days, and it’s important to recognise that improvement can take time. Celebrate small victories without setting expectations for a swift turnaround. Patience and consistency are vital in supporting your loved one through their journey.
Final Thoughts
Supporting someone with depression is not about having all the answers or fixing their problems. It’s about being there, offering compassion, and creating a safe, understanding space for them to navigate their feelings. By following these do’s and don’ts, you can provide meaningful support while respecting their needs and boundaries.By offering patient, informed, and compassionate support, you can help your loved one through one of the most challenging experiences of their life.